"...because sometimes, you have to believe in yourself, first!"

A glance into my unpolished, non-glamorous adventure of entrepreneurship

As an entrepreneur in an industry that doesn't need another freelancer, it's hard! I have a variety of skills that I could contribute to another, more established agency that I never rule out. They're not hiring, I've already checked! It's increasingly difficult to try and break the glass ceiling that hovers above freelancers and with each placement or "contributor" byline, I can see the cracks. One day I won't have to beg for placements, I'll be inundated with requests for my coverage. All this talking I do won't be limited to a blog, podcast or ahem, myself. 

One day, it won't be like this! One day, I won't have to check the analytics to get a sober grip on site traffic. One day...it'll all make sense! The late nights, sometimes early morning, sometimes mid-morning starts. It'll all make sense to the people watching. Those watching closest and those peering from the other side, awaiting failure. It's increasingly difficult to have to explain month after month why I haven't supplemented my decent weekly income with a "job" (I thank God for all my skills, I'm able to make a really good living each month away from my media desk). I have to share that for the record because there are people that think that I don't work and have no income. 

It's not about proving anybody wrong, that's a total waste of time. It is however about my wife and children seeing my ability to create what I have seen! It's never raining when umbrellas are in high demand!  This past week, we were covered in a deluge and I forgot to grab my umbrella on the way out the door. It was only drizzling, but rain was forecasted. On the way out the door leaving rehearsal, it happened...so much rain the only option was to either wait it out or tempt fate!  There are tons of people in our area who simply cannot drive in rain. I err on the side of caution, so I see it all. 

I had to go to the store on the way home, so I decided to buy an umbrella while in the store. I walked in the store and it was my first order of business-find an umbrella. I wasn't surprised that there were no umbrellas in the store. None and it had only been raining for less than an hour that evening. Mind you, it had been raining off and on the past week so it's understood that the inventory had been depleted. 

My search ended with no umbrella and then it made sense. Of course people are buying umbrellas when they're thinking about it. Nobody wants to be wet (though umbrellas don't cover your whole body) and they certainly don't want to smell like rain after being caught in it unprepared. 

So that's what I compare this phase of entrepreneurship to, not necessarily standing in the rain, but testing out my umbrella. It's odd to be standing outside with an umbrella on a sunny day, but almost no one questions an umbrella's coverage during rainfall! 

Get it? My coverage- the way I gather news, the way I report, the subjects, methods, pre/post-production...it's all just preparation for the rain that's coming. See, most people run for cover when it rains. But what about seeds in the ground? The bible talks about the former and latter rains. The former rain softens the ground so that a farmer can till it up and plant seeds, but the latter rain is the rain that creates the harvest! 

Got it...?!? Now you're curious as to who'll actually need an umbrella when it rains, right?!? Not me, but I'll have plenty to pass around once the latter rain comes. The sum of my efforts at present are somewhat trivial to outsiders. Unless you can see what I can, it's crazy. It's a waste of time...a pipe dream and a foregone ambition that may never be realized. 

I hear all of that. Trust me...it's becoming harder and harder to not believe it, internalize it and fold the laptop closed one last time. Except for this one simple thing...what I see today doesn't match what I have already seen! And...of the many things I have seen in regard to my digital media company I can assure you of this: "It's gonna rain!"

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 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
​ - Psalm 27:13

 First things first, these shots are terrible! I'm having to re-learn my camera but that's part of the process. I just grabbed my camera and started shooting before I left out to grab a few things from storage. What you're seeing here is my setup for when I have to do it all which is most of the time! 
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My Sony FDRAX53/B, a Sunpak LED light, a RODE VideoMicro (with the dead cat windscreen) and my iPad which I use as my video monitor. This way, I'm able to conduct interviews and see the shot. In this phase, it's not implausible to expect to have to do it all. In fact, that's the only way "it" (whatever that happens to be) will get done! 

When we moved to our new house, I agreed to let the kids have the extra rooms and work in another area of the house. It's nothing like the extra bedroom I converted to record in a few years ago. Nothing like it...this company was born in that room! Now, I work during the day, when I'm the only one home. When the kids come home from school, there's no chance of recording- they're too noisy! At night, I'm too tired and you can hear it in my voice, so there's no need even trying! 

I'm not discouraged, I've just learned to appreciate the day! Even Jesus said 'daytime' is the ideal time to work "...when night comes, no man can work." (John 9:4) This temporary inconvenience is part of my standing out in the rain...it won't always be this way, but that I expect won't come without it! 

I want to leave you with this: "sowing seeds is sowing deeds". Much of what we do as entrepreneurs is not for the phase we're in, but for the harvest this phase will bring! It's not always easy or comfortable but sometimes you end up having to do it all because sometimes, you have to believe in yourself...first!